The Sound of My Heart Breaking Part II
by SPNJUNKIE23
Summary: While Sam is seperated from his brother he meets Jessie again and they both realize that they have feelings for each other. But the hatred of her sibling almost destroys their hope of a life together. Set in season 5


**The Sound of My Heart Breaking Part II**

Sam still couldn't believe that he and Dean weren't together anymore. To say that they had parted on the best of terms would have been the joke of the year but he had felt certain that it had been the right thing to do. He didn't trust himself anymore and he was sure that he was a danger to everyone around him. And the thought of hurting Dean had been unbearable to him. He was his only family, apart from Bobby maybe, and Sam didn't want to lose him. Leaving him had sounded like a really good idea at the time but it turned out to be harder that he could ever have imagined. Sam had hitched a couple of rides and had been wandering around the country for a while not knowing what to do with himself, taking on odd jobs along the way. And even though he hadn't planned on it somehow he had ended up in Glendale again, the town that Dean and he had been in a couple of weeks ago where they had met Jessie for the first time. He thought about leaving right away but then he changed his mind. He felt compelled to talk to Jessie again and tell her how sorry he was that he had brought on the Apocalypse and maybe ask for her forgiveness while he was at it. Something his brother hadn't been able to let him do so far. Sam was anxious to meet Jessie, she would have every right to damn him to hell and never talk to him again but he wanted to try to explain himself to her nevertheless. When he arrived at her garage he found it locked and it appeared like it hadn't been open in a while. Sam knocked at the door and called out Jessie's name but nothing happened so he turned around and walked across the street to the motel that he and his brother had stayed at. He went to the guy at the reception who thankfully remembered him and asked him about her. The man told him that Jessie had shut down the garage and had returned home to her parent's house. He gave Sam the address when he told him a lie about how she had left something in their car that he wanted to return to her. "Thank you." Sam put the scrap of paper with Jessie's address in his pocket and was about to leave when he turned around again. "Excuse me, sir, do you maybe remember when she left?" The man put his right hand to his mouth. „Yes, I do actually. It was right after you and your brother checked out here. I remember it so well because she came over to ask me if you had maybe left a note for her or a message of some kind. She said she was sorry that she hadn't been able to help your brother with fixing the radiator and wanted to know if your car was all right." Sam felt slightly uneasy as he heard this and he wanted to leave as fast as he could. He thanked the man again and walked outside.

Jessie had persuaded her parents a couple of weeks ago to go on that trip to Europe that they had always talked about but had never found the time to actually take. She had wanted them to have a good time, one last beautiful memory before the world would start to collapse around them. She didn't know how long it would take but her sister Amy had told her that it would probably not be very much longer before the beginning of the end would be palpable. Amy hadn't wanted to leave when Jessie had suggested that she went with their parents, she had told them that she had had a premonition that she was needed here. But to tell the whole truth, she was afraid of flying and was more than happy when her parents finally decided that she could stay with her older sister. When Jessie said that it was all right with her, that she would take care of Amy while their parents were gone, she had felt so grateful to her older sister. She loved her very much and although they were more than ten years apart, Amy and Jessie had always been quite close. Jessie had been more of a friend to her than a sister but they had of course had their share of fights, mostly when Jessie had been still living with them and Amy had been following her around like a puppy dog. "Hey, you hungry, kiddo?" Jessie shouted from the kitchen but since the TV was blaring on almost full blast Amy hadn't been able to hear her. She walked over to the living room, shaking her head as she found her sister stretched out on the sofa watching some silly show. "Hey, could you turn that down a little? My ears are gonna pop off." Amy reluctantly took up the remote and lowered the volume, her eyes were still glued to the screen. "Wanna eat a sandwich? I'm making some." Jessie couldn't believe that Amy was into watching those really stupid shows about vampires. Not because she didn't believe in them, on the contrary, having seen the past lives of both Sam and Dean just weeks ago flashing before her eyes, she knew for a fact that they were more than real along with every other really scary type of supernatural being she had thought had been just fiction until then. Jessie realized that it had been the first time in a while since she had thought about the two Winchester brothers. She had been really mad at Amy when she had found out why she had behaved so out of character that night when she had kissed Sam. Well, a little more than just kissed but she chose not to remember that part too well. But Jessie hadn't been able to stay mad at her sister for long and had forgiven her almost right after she had confronted her. Amy was still a kid and she had meant well, she had wanted Jessie to be happy and fall in love. It was just the execution of that idea that hadn't turned out too well. Using the kind of magic that Amy did, which was the white kind, just wasn't something she wanted in her life, she was still too afraid of it. Jessie sighed once and leaned over her sister, blocking her view of the TV screen for a moment when she kissed her on the cheek. Amy wanted to shout at Jessie at first to move but when she felt her sister's lips on her cheek, she hugged her tightly. Jessie had to fight back tears when she hugged her sister back, she seemed to be a real crybaby these days. She wanted to protect her sister from everything bad that she knew now was out there. „I'll be all right, you know." It wasn't the first time that Amy had been able to read her mind, her abilities were growing stronger on a daily basis. „Yeah, I know." Jessie wiped the tears away and looked into her sister's eyes. „So, what's it gonna be? You wanna eat something?" Amy nodded her head and Jessie turned around and went back to the kitchen.

Sam had been pacing up and down the pavement in front of Jessie's house for a while now. He was still unsure if he should see her again and if this was the right thing to do but he finally mustered the courage to ring the bell. A small girl who appeared to be no more than fourteen years old opened the door. He was surprised to see her, he had expected to see Jessie and was a little stunned. "Yes?" She prompted, leaning on the doorframe obviously amused at his silence. Sam coughed once. "Hi, I'm Sam. Is Jessie in by any chance?" She stared at him with a strange look in her eyes. "Sam? Winchester?" He nodded his head. "Nice going there, idiot!" He was baffled at her outburst and looked at the tiny girl in surprise. "Excuse me?" She rolled her eyes. "Does bringing on the end of the world ring a bell?" Sam glanced at his feet in embarrassment. "So you know?" She put her hands to her hips. "Damn sure I know! Jessie told me all about you. Some nerve you got showing up here. I should put another spell-" "Amy, get in here now!" Sam recognized the authoritative sound of an older sibling talking to a younger one immediately. He had been used to hearing that tone from his brother since they had been kids. So this was Amy, Jessie's kid sister. He hadn't been sure before as he remembered her saying her sister was seventeen but to him she had looked a lot younger than that. Sam saw Jessie coming out the door of what appeared to be the kitchen, a dishtowel in her left hand. "But he-" Jessie stared at Amy with an annoyed look on her face and Amy finally gave in but not without mumbling unintelligibly under her breath first. Jessie inhaled deeply as she walked over to Sam. "Hi, Sam." She obviously wasn't too happy to see him, which wasn't a surprise to him at all, and only glanced at his face once for a split second before concentrating her gaze on something behind him. Sam was overwhelmed at seeing her, he had almost forgotten how beautiful she was. Her long light-brown hair framed her features perfectly and her soft brown eyes had the color of dark chocolate that he felt he could melt right into. She was wearing blue denim jeans that accentuated her figure very nicely and a red shirt that showed off her slender frame and ample chest. For a moment there he remembered the feeling of her body close to his and he felt heat rising in his cheeks. He wanted to say something but for the life of him he didn't know where to start.

Jessie waited for Sam to talk but since he didn't appear to be wanting to do so, she tried to break the ice by saying whatever popped up in her mind at that minute. "Thought I'd never see you again. Well, hoped's more like it." That didn't go over well with him, she thought as she saw the hurt look flash in his eyes. Sam wanted to shout at her but managed to remain calm. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset your sister or you." "Yeah. I'm sure you didn't. What are you doing here, Sam?" Jessie finally found the courage to look up to him. "Honestly, I don't really know. I thought I could...I wanted to apologize." "Apologize? For what?" Sam coughed nervously. "For having brought on this horrible thing, you know, the Apocalypse and all." The look on his face suddenly changed and Jessie slowly realized why it seemed familiar to her. She saw the same deep sadness in his eyes that had attracted her to him the first time she had seen him. Well, not really by her own choice, she had been under the influence of Amy's love spell, so the attraction hadn't been real but the feeling that she wanted to hold him, to comfort him now and to tell him that it hadn't been his fault entirely, was. Jessie gazed into Sam's eyes and felt a sudden urge to find out if he had more moles on his body than the one's that were visible on his face and that made him look so irresistible to her that she had to fight herself not to touch them. She couldn't help but notice how broad his shoulders were and how tall and incredibly handsome he was. She had always had a thing for tall, dark-haired men with green eyes. And his eyes had the loveliest shade of blue and green, depending on how the light reflected in them, she had ever seen before. Oh, my, so maybe there was actually something more to this than just a spell, Jessie thought concerned. "I-I don't really know what to say." She lowered her head. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. Why don't you talk to Dean about-" "Dean wouldn't listen to me, all right! I wanted to talk to him but he just wouldn't listen. I know that I messed up, that I did everything wrong and I'm so sorry..." Sam's voice trailed off and Jessie gasped as she saw the tears in his eyes, and felt her own starting to fill. "I think I better go now." It seemed almost funny to him when he realized that those had been the exact same words that Jessie had spoken to him a few weeks ago. As he was about to turn around to leave, she held him back and put her right hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned his head into her palm and felt one single teardrop trickle from his left eye. Sam felt Jessie's thumb caress his cheek as she brushed away the tear and then her lips touched his softly.

Sam hoped that he would be able to get some rest tonight as he had been awake most of last night. His thoughts had been revolving around Jessie no matter how much he had tried to think of something else. After she had kissed him last night, he had found himself in a strange state of confusion similar to the one he had experienced the first time she had kissed him that way. Not when they had been under the spell but later on when Dean had already burnt the hex bag. Sam scolded himself for having run away right after her kiss last night. He had just turned around and had left Jessie standing in her doorway without so much as a goodbye. But he had been afraid of his own feelings and of what it could mean if he let himself go and fall in love with her. No, love was nothing he needed nor deserved right now. Sam wanted to come to terms with what he had done but admitting to himself that Ruby had been right, that she had just shown him the way, the wrong way, and that he had gladly chosen it was a hard thing for him to do. He hated her but more than that he hated himself. No matter what would happen, he would always have only himself to blame for everything. If the world would end it would be all his fault. Sam sighed deeply and looked over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was too late to go back to sleep now. He had to get up in half an hour anyway to go to work. Sam wasn't sure why he had decided to stay in this town and had taken on another odd job at the local grocery store but somehow he didn't want to leave yet. He got up, went to the bathroom and left about a half hour later to go to Marsden's Groceries where he would take over every kind of job that needed to be done that day. Today he had to restock the shelves with the goods that he found ready for him in the storage room. Sam had already been working for three hours when he heard a familiar voice in the aisle behind him. „Ok, so we need bread and vegetables. Oh, and cereals too. I'll get those, you get the veggies. All right?"

Jessie turned the cart around and steered it into the cereal aisle where she almost bumped into Sam. She gasped and wanted to say something but her tongue didn't seem to want to obey her. Please, say something, anything! She silently pleaded with herself and was trying to think of some small talk banality or other that she could use right now but her mind remained blank. Sam was staring at her with an intensity that made her blood start to heat up. No, no, no, please, don't look at me that way, she begged him silently, wanting to stop looking at him too but just not being able to do so. „Hey, sis. I got the veggies and I also got the..." When she heard her sister's voice next to her, Jessie was finally able to turn away from Sam. She saw Amy's face change from happy to hostile in a matter of seconds. „What's he doing here?" Jessie could make out a frosty tone in her sister's voice that she had never heard before. „Amy!" She was a little shocked at her sister's outburst. „What are you still doing here?" Amy's tone was pure ice now. „Enough!" Jessie stared at her sister in disbelieve. „Let's go! Now!" Her sister didn't move but still glared at Sam with, oh, God, was that really hatred in her eyes? Jessie turned to Sam again who had remained silent and somehow hadn't been shaken at all by what Amy had said and the way she had said it. He was still looking at Jessie intently in a way that made her feel like they were the only two people on the planet. The noise of all the others around them doing their shopping in the store was suddenly drowned out by the sound of her heart pounding hard in her chest. Jessie felt a little faint but somehow found the strength to turn around to her sister and grab her arm tightly. She left the cart behind and shoved her sister away with her to the exit. Amy was livid when Jessie almost dragged her into her pick-up truck and drove home. She ran up to her room the moment they arrived at the house and banged her door so loudly that Jessie could hear a piercing noise in her ears. She sighed deeply, hoping that Amy would get over this quickly. Jessie had enough things on her mind, the thought of having to deal with Amy in a state like that made her feel rather tired. About an hour later she heard her sister come down the stairs again. She seemed to have calmed down and looked a little sheepishly at her sister. "I'm so sorry I pitched that fit earlier. I just called Cheryl and asked her if I could stay over at her place tonight if it's ok with you." Amy looked genuinely sorry and since Jessie had never been able to stay mad at her for very long she nodded her head. "Great. I'll go pack my stuff." A couple of minutes later Amy came down again and Jessie asked her if she wanted her to drop her off at her friend's house but Amy told her that she wanted to walk over there to cool down a little bit more. "Call me when you get there, ok?" Amy promised her that she would, turned around and left.

Jessie looked around the house that she had grown up in and realized that this was one of the very few times that she actually stayed alone in it. Usually her mother would have been in one room or other tidying or cooking or caring for them the way she had always done. And her father would be in the living room watching whatever kind of sports show was on at the time. She missed her parents but she was happy for them too that they would have this special time in their lives to remember in the years to come. That was, if they had years ahead of them. Jessie felt a chill spreading inside of her at the thought of the horrible things that they all might have to face soon. She went into the living room and turned on the TV to distract herself from her thoughts and soon after fell asleep on the sofa. She woke up with a start when she heard the doorbell ring, followed by the rumble of distant thunder. Jessie looked out the window into the darkness and watched the rain pouring down in torrents. The sound of the rain against the glass had a hypnotizing effect on her and for a moment she tuned out every other thing around her. She gasped when she heard the sound of the doorbell again. Oh, yeah, there was someone at the door, she had totally forgotten about that. She went into the hallway and when she looked through the small window in the door she saw Sam's face in it. Jessie wasn't sure what to do but opening that door now seemed like a really bad idea. "Jessie, I know you're in there. I just wanna talk to you." Sam said through the closed door. "Oh, shit, that's so not good." Jessie whispered when she felt goose bumps all over her body at the sound of his voice. "I was about to go to sleep. Can't-can't you come back, ehm, in the morning?" Jessie kept her fingers crossed that he would say yes to this. "No, I gotta talk to you now." She fought hard with herself to resist him and almost succeeded when she heard him say her name again and then one word. "Please!" She felt her resolve crumble completely and finally gave in. Jessie was already panting hard when she opened the door and saw Sam standing in front of her dripping wet. Both his arms were outstretched and his hands were holding on to the doorframe. The soft hair on her arms started to rise and she felt shivers running down her spine. His mouth was half open and she could hear him breath heavily. He stared at her hungrily and she looked at him as if mesmerized. Her heart was beating wildly and she felt like it was going to burst, that her ribcage wouldn't be able to contain it for very much longer. Jessie licked her lips and had a moment to prepare before Sam moved inside and started smothering her with his kisses. He wrapped his left arm tightly around her waist and put his right hand on the back of her head pressing her lips hard on his like he wanted to devour them. "Bedroom?" Sam nearly growled and she felt the vibration of the sound of his deep voice in the pit of her stomach. "Upstairs." Jessie whispered almost melting into his arms. She could barely think straight, the onslaught of his hands and lips had turned her knees into jell-O and she felt them buckle under her. Sam lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed and kissed her again. He started to undress her and she unbuttoned his wet shirt and helped him take off the T-shirt he was wearing under it. Jessie ran her hands over his naked chest and heard Sam taking a deep breath as she touched him. She felt his body more than she could see it in the dark and what she felt was so overwhelmingly beautiful that it almost made her cry. His hands and lips seemed to be everywhere now touching, kissing and licking her smooth skin. When he put his lips on hers again for a deep passionate kiss, she felt two lonely tears rolling down her closed eyes. Jessie finally realized why she had fought this, why she had tried to keep away from Sam. She knew that from this moment on her heart was lost, that it would belong to him forever. No matter what the future might have in store for them, she would always love that man.

Amy wasn't too happy about the fact that she had lied to her sister and had tricked her into letting her leave the house but she knew that this had been her only option. She had no intention of going over to her friend's place to spend the night there. She wanted to go somewhere else. She wanted to go to a place where she would be alone to do what she was certain had to be done. Amy had wanted to tell her sister at first what she planned to do but she was sure that Jessie would have tried to stop her. She remembered the way her sister had been looking at Sam in the grocery store and she shivered in disgust. Amy could have slapped herself when she had found out who Jessie had fallen in love with thanks to her spell. Her sister might still have been unaware of her feelings but Amy had seen the love in her eyes all right. Even though the charm that she had put into Jessie's coverall had been destroyed by the fire something must have happened to her and Sam that had made this all become real. Of all the men, her sister had chosen to fall in love with the one guy who was responsible for the end of their world! Amy hated him and she wanted to see him die, no matter what she had to do to achieve this, she would do it. She had been walking for about two hours now and was in the middle of an old wheat field. Amy took the books and black candles out of her bag and started to prepare everything for the ritual. She hesitated for a moment before lighting the candles and then started to say the words of the incantation. At first nothing seemed to change but then Amy looked up and saw a big dark cloud of smoke moving in her direction and she started to run. But the smoke was moving faster through the air than her and it finally overtook her. Amy tripped and fell to her knees and suddenly felt her mouth open and then the big black cloudy mass rammed into her throat. "Well, well, Sammy. Looks like somebody here doesn't like you at all." The demon smiled and got up to her feet and dusted her new body off. "Hm, she's tiny but we'll make do."

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty, wake up!" The demon kicked Sam with her small foot. He slowly woke up and had the most unbelievable vision. Amy was holding a big knife in her right hand that she had put to Jessie's throat. Jessie was sitting in a chair and she had been tied to its arms. "Amy, what the hell are you doing?" Sam shook his head to clear it but he still couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Howdy, Sammy." He gasped when he realized that the girl in front of him wasn't Amy anymore. "Meg!" "You didn't think that you got rid of me now, did ya?" Meg cut Jessie's throat a little and Jessie gasped when she felt the piercing pain run through her. "Tell me where your brother is. And tell me fast before I cut her up some more." Meg had lowered her voice and was now glaring at Sam. "I don't know where he is." Sam felt his mouth turn dry but he managed to start the Latin incantation that would surely get the demon out of Amy's body but nothing happened. Meg smiled dangerously. "Now, now, Sammy, I thought we went through this already. Don't you remember how close we were? Hm? Remember this?" Meg pulled up Amy's right sleeve and Sam saw the same branding on her arm that she had put on him when she had possessed his body. "Kill me if you want to but let her go." He felt a fear so enormously huge rise in him that he didn't care anymore if he was dead or alive as long as Jessie was going to be all right. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. That's so chivalrous of you. And so stupid. You know, I would never hurt you. You are our father's meat suit after all. If you don't tell me where your brother is right now I will carve up your little slut. I will start with her pretty face first. And then her breasts that you seem to like so much. And who knows what I'll do next?" Meg ran the point of the knife down Jessie's chest. Jessie was trembling all over but she told herself to calm down and that she had to pull herself together if she wanted to save her sister and herself. She tried hard to remember the words that Amy had taught her a couple of days ago and when she was sure that she knew exactly what to say she started to whisper them so that she could drive the demon out of Amy's body. The demon suddenly dropped the knife she was holding and looked at the branding in surprise. As if somebody was turning back the time on it, it slowly vanished and a hissing sound accompanied its disappearance. Meg opened her mouth and screamed loudly. Jessie was still saying the words and watched in shock as a black cloud of smoke rushed out of Amy's mouth. Amy fell to the ground and remained motionless. Sam jumped up from the bed and quickly untied Jessie. She felt tears streaming down her face and realized that she was shaking when he took her in his arms.

"Are you ok?" Jessie could hear the fear in Sam's voice and she nodded her head. He was holding her so close that she was afraid he was going to crush her but she didn't want him to let her go. When Jessie had calmed down enough, Sam let go of her and she knelt down to check if Amy was still breathing. She looked up at Sam with a worried look in her eyes. "She's gonna be fine." Sam knew that it would take some time but Amy was going to feel better soon. After a short while Amy opened her eyes and looked at her sister and then at him. She seemed disoriented at first but she recovered quickly. "Are you all right, sweetie?" Amy could hear the concern in Jessie's voice. She nodded her head and Jessie helped her up. Amy wasn't sure what to do at first. She stared at her feet and said nothing but then, finally, she did find the courage to say what had to be said. "I'm so sorry. I did this. I called the demon. I didn't...I wanted Sam to die not you...You're my sister and I love you." Jessie stared at Amy who was crying now. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. "What? Amy, what were you thinking? I don't know what to say. I-I can't even look at you right now." Jessie turned around and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Amy realized that she had done something terrible and that she had hurt her sister deeply. Jessie had never looked at her the way she just had and Amy knew that it would be better for them all if she left. "I'm so sorry." Jessie's back was still turned to her and so Amy went out of her sister's bedroom and closed the door. Sam walked over to Jessie and stood behind her wrapping his arms around her. "She's really sorry. You should talk to her." Jessie shook her head. "No, I can't do that. This wasn't just a love spell, Sam. She tried to kill you. I don't know if I can forgive her for that." Sam took a deep breath. "You've forgiven me for starting the Apocalypse, haven't you?" Jessie lowered her head and nodded it slightly. "That was different. It wasn't your fault. Not all of it anyway. You wanted to save people. She wanted to kill you." Sam turned her around and when they were facing each other he put both his hands on her cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs. "We'll talk about this in the morning. Ok? I'm tired. Let's go back to bed." Jessie suddenly realized how tired she was when she had to yawn. When they were back in bed Jesse kissed Sam on the lips and turned around to find a comfortable sleeping position. She tried to fall asleep for the longest time but somehow she just couldn't. There was too much going on in her mind and she couldn't find any rest. Jessie turned around to Sam and saw that he was still awake as well, looking up at the ceiling. "Can't sleep? Me neither." Jessie snuggled into Sam's arms and laid her head on his shoulder. "I've been thinking. How did you get the demon out of Amy's body? I thought you said that you're not that powerful." Jessie ran her hand over Sam's chest, caressing him softly. "I'm not. I was too afraid, I still am, to deal with all that but Amy taught me a thing or two about how to get rid of demons and angels in the past weeks. Just in case I needed it." Jessie kissed Sam's chest right on top of his tattoo. She heard him inhale and a smile played on her lips. "Smart." Jessie sat up and then straddled her left leg over Sam's body and sat on his hips. "You think?" She ran her hands over his body and he caressed her legs. When she leaned down to kiss his chest she felt his heart beating fast under her lips. She heard him sigh deeply and raised her head and turned to face him. Jessie looked into his eyes and she felt emotions so strong inside her heart that she almost couldn't breath. I love you, she only thought these words even though she wanted to tell him. She lowered her lips on his and kissed him passionately trying to convey her feelings to him with this kiss. I love you so much. And then Jessie stopped thinking entirely, she only felt Sam's skin against hers and his hands and lips on her body.

Amy didn't want to wait until Jessie and Sam would be awake. She got up early and wrote them a note saying again how sorry she was and left the house. Sam was the first to wake up in the morning and after he showered and got dressed, he went to Amy's room and knocked on her door. When he didn't hear her answer he opened the door and found the note on Amy's bed. Sam went back to Jessie's room and saw that she had woken up too. "Good morning." She was stretching her arms over her head and smiled at him when she saw him standing there. Jessie patted the bed next to her seductively, trying to lure Sam back into bed again. "Amy's gone." Sam gave Jessie the note that he had found in Amy's room. Jessie didn't really want to read it but she did it anyway. She tried to feel sorry but all she felt was relief that Amy wasn't around. She couldn't forgive her sister for what she had tried to do and she was sure that it would take her a long time to do so if she could forgive her at all. "I think it's better that way. I-I don't know if I can talk to her." Sam sat down next to her and took her right hand into his. "I'm not really in a position to give you any advice here 'cos frankly, I did everything wrong that a person can do wrong but I know one thing. Amy's sorry and I'm sure she wished that she could undo what she's done." He looked up into her eyes and took a deep breath. "And I know exactly how she must be feeling. Believe me. I would give anything, anything if I could turn back time and make the right decisions and have this thing go away." Jessie turned her head away from Sam. She didn't really know how to respond to what he had just revealed to her. She wanted to say that everything was going to be all right but they both knew that that would have been a lie. "I know. But...I need some time. Just give me some time." Jessie turned to Sam again and when he took her in his arms she held on to him tightly. "Ok. Come on, get up. We gotta get moving." He pulled her up but she tried to pull him back to bed with her. "No, I wanna stay here in bed with you." Jessie kissed Sam on the lips and then turned to his left ear. She started nibbling at his earlobe and he almost surrendered but he found the strength to resist her. "No, we're going into town." She stared at him with such a funny look in her eyes that it almost made him laugh. "Meg knows where you are now and she might come back. I want you to get a tattoo like mine to protect you from her and every other demon that's out there." Jessie could see in Sam's eyes that he was afraid of what might happen to her and that he wanted to do everything he could to protect her from it. She didn't really want to do this but nodded her head nevertheless, got dressed and they both drove to the tattoo parlor in the city center.

Jessie looked at her lower back in the mirror where the protective tattoo had been placed. She had gotten used to it now and actually kind of liked it but only because Sam had one just like it on his chest. She thought about how much her life had changed in a matter of weeks. Sam and Jessie spent almost every waking hour in each other's arms. He wanted to be close to her all the time and she didn't mind it at all. And although they still hadn't declared their love for each other, she could feel hers for Sam growing stronger day by day and he let her feel that he loved her every day and most of all during the nights that they spent together. Jessie suddenly felt a little woozy and had to sit down. It wasn't the first time she had felt that way. She had actually felt as strange as this since the day before yesterday and had been throwing up every morning now for three days. She thought that maybe she had caught a virus or had eaten something spoilt. But maybe that wasn't the reason for how she felt at all. She had been shopping earlier and had also bought a pregnancy test. Jessie wanted to rule out the possibility that a baby could be the reason why she was feeling so bad lately. She went into the bathroom and locked the door. She was quite anxious and had to wait for a couple of minutes for the test to show the result and when it did, Jessie was almost sure that there was something wrong with her eyes that this couldn't be true. But when the realization finally sunk in, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub and put her head in her hands. "Oh, my god. What am I gonna do?" Jessie couldn't believe that she was actually pregnant. It wasn't that she didn't want a child, she had always wanted to be a mother but she knew that it wasn't the best timing. And then she realized that this was hers and Sam's baby and a smile spread across her face and she felt tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. Jessie's first impulse was to tell Sam right away but then she started to think that maybe he wouldn't want it and she didn't know what to do. She knew that he loved her, she felt it with every kiss and every touch even though he had never told her. Jessie wasn't sure though how to tell him and decided to wait until tonight to do so. She unlocked the bathroom door and went downstairs to the kitchen where Sam was preparing dinner. Jessie had asked him earlier if she could help him with it but he had wanted to cook the meal all by himself. She sat down at the kitchen table and watched him chop and slice the food when he suddenly turned around. "I want to call Cas." Jessie was more than surprised to hear him say this. "What for?" She looked at him intently. "To have him carve an Enochian sigil into your ribs to protect you from the angels." "Do you really think this is necessary?" Jessie wasn't sure if she wanted to have an angel in her house. She knew that Castiel was Sam's and Dean's friend, she had seen both of their past and knew he had helped them before but somehow she couldn't trust him. He was an angel after all and she remembered what Uriel and Zachariah had done to Sam and his brother. "Yes, I do. The demons can't possess you anymore but the angels can still find you and hurt you. I can't let that happen. I..." Sam's voice trailed off but Jessie knew exactly what he wanted to say. "I love you too." There, she had said it. She wasn't sure if it had been the right thing to do but she just had to tell him. Jessie got up from her chair and walked over to Sam. He didn't say anything to her because he wasn't able to talk. He saw his own reflection in her eyes when he looked into hers and realized that although he had wanted to tell her that he loved her, he was too scared to utter the words. He was terrified of losing her and the thought almost killed him that he might be the cause of her death. Sam took Jessie into his arms and held her close to him. "I'm calling him right now." He picked up his cell phone and dialed Castiel's number. Sam talked to Castiel and told him where to find them and in a matter of seconds they heard somebody knock on the door. Sam opened it and saw Castiel in his usual attire standing in front of him. "Hello, Sam." "Hi Cas. How are you?" Sam wanted to hug Castiel, he hadn't seen his friend in a while, but he knew that Castiel wouldn't feel too comfortable if he did. "Good." Castiel turned to Jessie and looked at her intently for a moment. "You are with child." Jessie gasped and fought down the urge to slap Castiel in the face. "What? What are you talking about?" Sam stared at Castiel with disbelief in his eyes. "A boy. He will be a very special child." Jessie smiled for a moment when she heard that her baby was going to be a boy. He would look exactly like his father, she was sure of it. "How-how do you know that? I only found out like half an hour ago." Jessie wanted to get rid of Castiel, the sooner he was gone the better. She had intended to tell Sam tonight and had wanted to ease him into it. But now that Castiel had dropped the bomb on her she didn't know what to do. "That true?" Sam's eyes were opened wide and Jessie could see the shock in them. Great, she thought sadly, he doesn't want it. "I'm-I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how. I know it's not the best of times. I do. But it's our baby, Sam, yours and mine." Sam still had that same look on his face as before and Jessie was so afraid of his silence that she started to talk without thinking. "I thought that if it had been a girl we could have called her Mary. But now that I know it's gonna be a boy I want to name him John after your dad if that's all right with..." She finally gave up and felt tears starting to fill her eyes. Sam wanted to say something but he didn't know where to start. He still couldn't believe it. And then when he finally realized that this was actually happening he found the strength to talk. "Yes, that would be..." Sam suddenly knelt down in front of Jessie and kissed her belly. When he looked up to her she saw that he had tears in his eyes. "I'm going to be a father." Jessie smiled at him and stroked his head with both her hands and felt her own tears rolling down her cheeks. Sam stood up again and wrapped his arms tightly around Jessie. "So it's-it's ok?" She asked softly. Sam wiped his tears away, nodded his head and kissed Jessie tenderly on the lips. And then he finally found the courage to say the words that she had been longing to hear from him. "I love you. So much." Castiel had been standing quietly by while the whole scene had unfolded before his eyes. He was sure that they wanted to be alone but he still had to perform the task that Sam had asked him to do. He walked over to them and stood so close by that they couldn't help but notice him. "I'm sorry, Cas. I've totally forgotten about you." Sam glanced at him with a sheepish look in his eyes. He took a step back from Jessie to allow Castiel access to her. "It's all right. I just need a moment here and then I'll be gone." Castiel laid his left hand on Jessie's chest and she felt a tingling sensation inside her, right where he touched her. When he was finished, Castiel turned around and was about to leave when he heard Jessie speak to him. "Thanks, Cas." He stopped in his tracks and turned around to her again. "You're welcome". He looked deep into her eyes and Jessie had the strangest feeling that Castiel wanted to tell her something but he remained silent and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

There was fire and destruction all around. The Croatoan virus had spread throughout the world and people were killing each other everywhere. And in the middle of all the mayhem was Sam in an immaculate white suit not bothered at all by the hundreds of people dying around him. He just kept on walking, looking in wonder at the beauty of a tree or the pretty shape of a cloud. Tanks were rolling in front of him and with a wave of his hand the soldiers in it were dead. Jessie shouted out to him in terror and he turned around to her. She looked into his face and realized that this wasn't Sam anymore that something had possessed his body. "Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you." The creature was talking to her in Sam's voice and yet she knew that it wasn't him. Jessie wanted to beg him to let Sam go that she needed him here with her and their baby. "Your son is dead. And so are you." Jessie gasped when she heard him speak those words and she knew that he was telling her the truth. "Who are you?" She was barely able to speak the words. "My name is Lucifer."

Jessie sat up in her bed. She was panting and tried hard to calm her racing heart. "What in heaven's name was that?" She couldn't wrap her brain around what she had just seen in her dream. "It wasn't a dream." Jessie shrieked when she heard a familiar voice talk to her. She spun her head around and saw Castiel sitting in a chair close to her bed. She looked at Sam who was lying next to her still sleeping soundly. Jessie was wondering how this could be, how he hadn't woken up from her screaming when it dawned on her. "I'm still dreaming." She turned to Castiel. "Aren't I?" Castiel slightly nodded his head. "What are you doing in my dream?" He got up from the chair and walked over to Jessie. "We need to talk." His ominousness made her more than a little mad but she got up out of bed anyway and followed him downstairs to the kitchen. "I don't understand why we had to come here?" Jessie sat down at the kitchen table and Castiel did the same opposite her. "It's safer this way." She stared at him with a puzzled look on her face. "Safer? And what did you mean before when you said that it wasn't a dream?" Castiel took a deep breath and looked into her eyes with a worried expression that made Jessie's heart start to pound in her chest. "What you saw wasn't a dream. It was the future." She shook her head in disbelieve. "But I can't see the future. I can only see the past of a person when I touch them." Jessie really wanted to shake some sense into Castiel who seemed to have lost his mind. "You can not see the future but you're son can." "My son?" She shook her head when she looked at Castiel. "Yes. He's projecting his powers on you." "And he can look into the future?" Jessie couldn't believe that she was having this conversation with Castiel. "Among other things." She was starting to get afraid and didn't want to know more but she just had to ask him. "What things?" Castiel shook his head. "I can't tell you that. What I know is that if Sam and Dean won't reunite then you and your son will die and this world will burn to the ground." Jessie was feeling more than just a little faint now but she pulled herself together. "What can we do to stop this?" Jessie hoped that Castiel would be able to help them. "There's nothing I can do if you don't want me to do it." "What are you talking about?" Jessie could feel fear squeeze like a vise around her heart. "I can erase his memory of you." She gasped and shook her head. "No. I can't let you do that. I love him." Jessie put her hands to her mouth trying to smother the cry that she felt would escape her lips. "If you really love him as you say you do then you have no other option. He will not leave you if he recalls his life with you. This is the only solution. I'm sorry. Call me when you're ready."

Jessie woke up with a start and realized that she was lying in her bed, her pillow was wet from the tears she had cried in her sleep. She turned to Sam and put her hand on his cheek and caressed it. "I can't let you go. I can't. I love you so much." But deep inside her heart Jessie knew that she would do everything she had to do to save her son, the world and everyone else in it. And if it meant that she had to give up the one man that she had ever loved she would do it. Jessie was watching Sam in his sleep and felt a wave of deep despair wash over her that she had never experienced before. She was prepared to let him go but she wanted one last night with him. And as she was kissing him awake the only thought in her head was that this would be the last time they would be together. And tomorrow morning would be the last time that she would wake up in his arms.

Jessie sent Sam on an errand early the next morning and when the door closed behind him she leaned against it and started to cry uncontrollably. When she managed to calm herself down enough she went to the phone and dialed Castiel's number. "Cas, I'm ready." Jessie's voice almost failed her and she tried hard to hold back the tears that were filling her eyes again. Castiel suddenly appeared before her in the hallway. He looked at her and waited for a sign from her to tell him when to proceed. He could feel the pain almost weighing her down but her determination was just as strong to keep the one man that she had ever loved safe. It was that love that gave her a glow that radiated from deep within her soul. "You must be aware though that if I do this, there will be no turning back. This is irreversible." Even though Castiel already knew that she would not change her mind, he wanted to give her a moment longer to think about the gravity of what he was about to do. "I know. Please do it." Jessie closed her eyes as she muttered the words and the tears that she had successfully held back until now rolled down her cheeks. "It is done." Jessie could hear the sorrowful tone in Castiel's voice and expected to feel or hear something, anything. Like the sound of her heart breaking. But whatever he had done had no immediate effect on her or her surroundings at all. "He doesn't remember me anymore? Or the baby? And Dean neither?" Castiel nodded his head. "Good. Thank you, Cas!" Jessie put both her hands protectively over her stomach, imagining more than feeling her unborn son stir. "Please watch over him and Dean too." Jessie embraced Castiel and she could feel his uneasiness as she kissed him on the cheek. "You know I always will." She looked at him, nodding as if to say that she was certain that he would. "Goodbye, Cas!" She closed her eyes and felt a small breeze passing her by and knew that he was gone. "Johnny, looks like it's gonna be you and me from now on!" Instinctively she put her right hand over her belly and brushed the tears away with her left. "You will never know your daddy, sweetheart, and I'm really sorry for that but I will tell you everything I know about him. He's a good man. The best man I've ever known." She exhaled audibly and fought back the tears that threatened to overcome her again. "I will love you forever. Farewell, Sam." She whispered those final words to her lost love even though she knew he couldn't hear them. Jessie stood motionless for a while and then turned around and went inside the house and closed the door behind her.

_The End?_


End file.
